Mrs. Cheney's Students Write

Last week was character analysis week in Mrs. Cheney's 8th grade language arts class. I invited students to choose their favorite character from a book, movie, story, fairy tale, t.v. show, etc. I was pretty sure Edward Cullen would be the most analyzed character among the girls, but who knew Sponge Bob would be so highly regarded among 8th grade boys. Actually, it doesn't surprise me at all, but it does illustrate the disparity of maturity levels between 8th grade boys and girls quite nicely.

So, here are some highlights. If you happen to be one of my students who has happened to stumble onto my blog, please know I love you all and I am in no way making fun of you. I think you write cute things that make me smile. I like to share my smiles with others.

• From a paper about Bella Swan: "She is positive, but also negative. She is generally happy except for when she’s not. Mostly people like her or they don’t."
• On Edward Cullen: "There are three things I know for certain one Edward Cullen is a vampire, two some part of him thirsts for my blood, and three I was inexcusably in love with him." (In quotations at the beginning of the paper) Here is the real quote from the book jacket: "About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him-- and I didn't know how dominant that part might be --- that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." I don't know about you, but I think "inexcusably" is a much better fit.
• "Sponge bob square pants is a show directed by David Hasselhoff." (To be fair, I think he DID make a guest voice appearance in one of the episodes.)
• "Ariel is the kind of girl that likes to go to the sheriffs when she is not supposed to." Oh that Ariel is a naughty mermaid! I think it's supposed to say "surface" instead of "sheriffs"--another example of the joys of spellcheck.
• Bart Simpson's nemesis--"Si-jo Bob"
• And my personal favorite from an essay about Snow White--"I am uncertain whether or not they even verbalize before they get married. Even so, they apparently have a happily ever after." She goes on to conclude that "Snow White has respectable intentions, but she is quite needy and is very high maintenance, just like all the rest of the Disney Princesses." This essay made me want to write A + + + + + + + + + + + all the way across the top of her theme with my most dramatic flourishes for all the class to see . . . *sigh*