Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Day 3

My name is
Writers aren't born
properly labeled, so it's
hard to know one when
one appears.

Julianna Baggott

The only part of my life's label that remains
perfectly legible is:

My name is

The space below is a smeared mess of
edit marks, erasures,
even some sharpied scribbles
followed by so many exclamation points
that Mark Twain would feel obligated to make a
snide comment about my
self-perceived comedic prowess.
Or would it be F. Scott Fitzgerald?

Either way, some part of my buried past
is a joke.

At the moment, the space is filled with 
three letters,
uppercased, bolded and rebolded:

My name is 

Though the very act of my fingers keying words
on this page will cause it to change.
I think I just felt the "p" soak into the tip
of my right pinkie, and travel with
the blood in my veins, making its way
back to my heart
and out of my skin to settle
below the red header, morphing the letters
that beat along with my heart this morning
as I dropped my children off at the airport
to visit their dad.
The "o" is already there,
no need for a replacement.
The soon-to-be-former resident "m"
rotates a quarter turn to the left,
and the "t" hops from keyboard to chest
to complete the me of the moment.

A skilled forensics specialists could lift
those letters
and the ones that came before
to reveal my identities all the way back.
Some would be easily discovered:
wife, teacher, daughter, friend.
Others would be harder to decipher,
their letters grown
faint from lack of use, or
from denial.

There was a time when

My name is 

held its position for months at a time,
though if I'm honest with myself,
it must have been surrounded with invisibly inked
words like lonely, desperate, afraid.

And there have been plenty of times when

My name is

held the space hostage.
Sharpied scribbles and exclamation points
soon to follow.

Today, I'm content with an adaptive
white space, even if it means the white
has transformed into ever-changing
shades of gray.
The black and white
of my world ended
so long ago.

My name is

My name is

My name is


seashmore said...

This was sooooo meta.

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