Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The long and short of it

I got my hair cut on Saturday. And just for the record--I'm not depressed, I'm not feeling fat, I'm not failing in my profession, I'm not unhappy, I'm not feeling trapped in a horrible marriage, I'm not a failure of a mother or any of the other things I associate with my short-haired years in my past. In fact, I'm happier than I have ever been. My marriage is phenomenal (I found the greatest man to ever walk the earth since Jesus!), my professional life is progressing quite nicely, and while I don't have the skinny-Minny runner's bod I used to have, I look pretty damn good for an almost-forty-year-old woman. I'm even feeling like I'm a better mom now than I've ever been.

There was a time when I swore I'd never have short hair again, just because the associations with former haircuts were so traumatic. The short hair became a symbol. I was a scared, miserable, inferior, stupid person then. I had no self-worth. None. There was a time when I even felt suicidal. I was too chicken to do it, but I thought about it quite a bit for a several-month period of time.

When my first marriage ended, I started growing my hair out. It grew. It grew and it grew and it grew. I began to associate my long hair with my happy, smart, confident self. Once again, my hair had become a symbol.

So what does it all mean? I suppose it might mean the symbols have lost their meaning because I'm absolutely content with my life. It might mean I have moved beyond silly things like the meaning of a hair style. It might mean that I got tired of using lots of shampoo and conditioner. Or it might mean I am trying to grow out the natural color of my hair, and the best way to do that is to cut off the dyed ends.

Yes, indeed, I'm embracing my grays! It takes guts, don't you think?

6 comments:

Jen said...

Yes indeed, Shannon...you look damn good!! And yes again, you married a great guy! Isn't Brock just awesome?!? I love your new haircut! It is very cute. And you are awesome too Shannon! I don't have sisters, so it is sure fun to have sister-in-laws!

Good luck with the Christmas program. It is sure coming up fast. I wish we could be there. Is it going to be recorded? I sure hope so.

It is sure fun to see you and Brock together. You guys are so cute and it makes me happy to see the two of you so happy. It truly does.

Tiffany said...

First of all, I thought you rocked the pixie cut way back when (and all the hairdos in between), but I understand how meaningful these symbols can be in our lives. You've got me thinking about my own...

You look smashing. I love it.

Sally said...

I love your new look. You've always had such a nice forehead--even when you were a bald baby. This is a nice style that shows that good feature. And I can't see any gray!
I'm so glad that you are so happy now and feel bad for the times when you weren't. Little did I know back through the years that I only had to look at the length of your hair to see how you were feeling! Now I'm looking back through the years in the photo albums at your hair length.

lizzie said...

you look so good! i love it!

Clark said...

Looks great, Shannon! And how nice to hear from your mom about your lovely forehead. :-)

Kim said...

I have only known you with short hair...I do recall a bad chemical incident. You look great! Embrace your new do and new life! You deserve it! Lots of love from Georgia...